The war drums of the NFL are pounding again, and I’m locked and loaded for my annual assault on the sportsbooks. If you’ve ridden with me these past seasons, you know I leave Vegas bookmakers sweating bullets and reaching for their antacids. My picks haven’t just “generated income”—they’ve ripped open the coffers week after bloody week. At 73, I’ve weaponized decades of statistical obsession into a merciless wagering algorithm that doesn’t just incorporate historical data—it devours it, along with cutting-edge feeds that most bettors don’t even know exist.

Forget those prehistoric metrics that every armchair analyst regurgitates! I’m talking about the NUCLEAR-GRADE analytics that separate the wolves from the sheep: NGT (non-garbage time) that strips away the meaningless fourth-quarter stat-padding, real-time MPH tracking that exposes which “mobile” quarterbacks and backs are actually moving like refrigerators, and pressure-cooker CRUNCH TIME data that reveals who’s clutch and who’s choking when everything’s on the line!

This year my best teams are Baltimore, Philadelphia, Detroit, Buffalo, Green Bay and Minnesota. The Detroit coaching exodus had me sweating bullets, but their MONSTER roster will BULLDOZE through the noise while the media crybabies wring their hands over emotional garbage instead of cold, hard FACTS. The Packers landing Parsons? GAME-CHANGER. We’re talking about a GENERATIONAL TALENT, a human WRECKING BALL who’ll transform an already vicious defense into a NIGHTMARE FACTORY. J.J. McCarthy in Minnesota keeps me up at night—the kid was throwing HOSPITAL BALLS in college, and I expect more of the same catastrophic mediocrity at the pro level. But Minnesota’s surrounding talent is so OVERWHELMING they’ll drag his sorry arm to victory after victory regardless.

With 3 of the NFC North teams on my top 6, you already KNOW where my beloved Bears are rotting—DEAD LAST in their division! FOUR EXCRUCIATING YEARS of so-called “rebuilding” and they hire what’s supposed to be the SAVIOR HEAD COACH, with the same roster, save Thuney at guard. Ask yourself how Belichek did week one in Carolina and you’ll have some idea how a coach with a mediocre roster improves things. ABSOLUTE GARBAGE! Meanwhile, the Lions will STEAMROLL to 14-15 wins, and the Packers and Vikings will CRUSH their way to near 12 wins each, while my pathetic Bears CRAWL through another 7-8 win season like wounded animals who haven’t won a playoff game for a decade and a half! It’s CRIMINAL what they’ve done to this franchise …. but I digress.

Opening week I have the Eagles, Commanders and Broncos throttling their opponents, while the Bengals and Vikings are also good bets. Lions may survive a nail biter with the Packers while the Vikings humiliate my Bears at home by 9.

Good luck to all.