WEEK ONE IN THE NFL IS OFFICIALLY HISTORY, FOLKS! If you followed my picks, you’re probably BATHING IN CASH right now! All FIVE of my recommended teams delivered the goods—though the Eagles, Bengals, and Vikings nearly gave me THREE SEPARATE HEART ATTACKS before pulling through. The Broncos and Commanders rounded out my PERFECT 5-0 SWEEP! My algorithm crushed it at 12-4 straight up and 10-6 against the spread—NUMBERS THAT WOULD MAKE EINSTEIN WEEP WITH JOY!

This week, I’m unleashing SIX teams: Bills, Bengals, Ravens, Lions, Cardinals and Chargers. The betting lines are WARPED by Week 1 emotions, making Detroit, Cincinnati and Baltimore good spread bets for anyone with the stones to ignore the hysteria. And for good friend Jon, your emotions are like that cousin who shows up drunk to Thanksgiving—ENTERTAINING BUT TOTALLY USELESS! Cold, hard data, math and merciless logic are the ONLY path to gambling glory, my friend!

And now for a drop of education, since a few followers are new and playing picks incorrectly, straight out of my soon to be published book, “Hidden Odds”.

For those unfamiliar with the world of gambling an initial query often is, “What exactly is the Vig?” People have heard the term in movies and in the gambling world for years, but few understand what it really is.

Experts in the lexicon of the underworld suggest that “vigorish,” commonly shortened to “Vig,” originates from a distortion of the word “vigor.” According to these authorities, it signifies the “edge” or the inherent power and advantage that the operation holds for the loan shark or bookmaker. This term encapsulates the essence of their business, but did you know it also represents the profit margin or commission that any investment enterprise enjoys to remain robust and profitable?

The “vigorish”—that bloodsucking commission bookmakers extract from your wagers—isn’t just confined to smoky backroom poker games and neon-lit casinos. Oh no. It’s metastasized into the very financial system you trust with your life savings. Make NO MISTAKE: the vig is nothing but pure, unadulterated PROFIT carved from your financial flesh. While Vegas bookies at least have the decency to tell you they’re fleecing you, banks disguise their vigorish as “service fees,” “origination charges,” and “interest rate adjustments.” Every goddamn financial institution has perfected this parasitic art, and the bodies buried by this financial vampirism would fill stadiums compared to the handful of gambling addicts you imagine ruined by traditional bookmaking.

LISTEN UP, PEOPLE! Every damn team you stack on that parlay is another KNIFE IN YOUR BANKROLL! Those juicy odds are FINANCIAL SUICIDE wrapped in candy coating! The Vig, or sportsbook margin, MULTIPLIES with each addition—it’s not just bad math, it’s MATHEMATICAL SLAUGHTER! You’re not outsmarting Vegas; you’re FEEDING THE BEAST!

And lastly for my NFC North diehards—my algorithm is saying that the Packers and Vikings win this weekend! It’s also SCREAMING that my PATHETIC Bears—who IMPLODED from an 11-point lead to a 10-point CATASTROPHE in MERE MINUTES last night—showed their TRUE GUTLESS IDENTITY in that NIGHTMARE 4th quarter! Once the first-half home field DELUSION and emotional SMOKE SCREEN from their so-called “new coaches” EVAPORATED, their LAUGHABLY MEDIOCRE roster stood NAKED and EXPOSED, letting some NOBODY rookie quarterback IN HIS FIRST DAMN GAME ON EARTH torch them for 3 TOUCHDOWNS! THREE! ABSOLUTE FOOTBALL MALPRACTICE!

Good luck to family and friends.